Planning a bar or bat mitzvah comes with many decisions, including how to handle gratuities for various vendors. Here's a guide to help you navigate tipping etiquette for the big weekend. Note that you won’t tip every vendor. And you wouldn’t tip the owner of a company. (If you do, they’ll just distribute it to working staff members.) Here are amounts commonly given for excellent service to vendors you will likely have for your celebration.
Catering
- The service charge, which you’ll see included in contracts and on your final catering bill, is NOT the tip. That covers the hourly wages of servers.
- Servers: $40-$50
- Bartenders: $75-$100
- Banquet captain or buffet manager: $100-$150
- Some caterers report a flat 20% gratuity given on the final food and beverage fees for the owner to distribute to staff at their discretion.
- Make sure tipping is not already included in your contract and confirm how many servers/bartenders you will have at your event.
- Also don’t forget to think about ALL your caterers – Shabbat dinner, Kiddush luncheon, etc.
Venue
- When catering is provided through a hotel or event venue, the server and bartender tipping guide applies.
- Event manager: $150-$200 if they exceeded expectations.
- Coat Check: $30
- Bathroom Attendant: $25
- Valet Parking Attendant: $30
DJs/Musical Entertainment
- The DJ/MC/Dancer crew typically gets tipped for managing the party flow and creating the right atmosphere for guests.
- Several DJs say any form of “thank you” is appreciated, but for those who want to give cash, here’s a guideline for tipping:
- MC: $100-$200
- DJ: $150
- Dancers $50 per person
- Production crew: $20-$40 per person(if staff is there to set up and breakdown stage, light kit, screen, etc.)
Specialty Professionals
- Activity Vendors: $75-$100
- Specialty Entertainers: $100-$150
- Decorators: $100-$200
Photography/Videography
- Many photographers and videographers do not expect gratuity, but $75-$125 is appropriate if you want to give a tip.
Transportation
- Coach or Limo Drive: $30-$50
Synagogue Staff
- Support Services Staff: $20-$40, depending on the event's size and complexity.
Clergy/Tutors
- It’s a nice touch to make a donation to your synagogue (through a discretionary fund, religious school fund, or whichever category is meaningful to your family) in appreciation of the rabbi and cantor following the bar/bat mitzvah weekend.
- Gifts of appreciation for tutors are also appropriate.
Remember, tipping is a way to show appreciation for excellent service. By having conversations with vendors beforehand about their tipping policies, you can ensure your vendors feel valued for their contributions to your B'Mitzvah celebration.
